23

i almost had a heart attack just now, blogger wouldn't let me sign in. today was .... ridiculous. so much shit happened hahaha. i was mad dizzy, and i still don't feel better. wonderfullll. i basically hate everyone right now. people are so damn selfish. well guess what? next time you need my help, i won't be there for you. you do this every time, i'm done. and you... you need to calm down and stop making a big deal out of every little thing. think before you speak/act. and grow the fuck up! so, i got a speech today. this one i actually listened to, it was different. basically saying if i don't do well now, i'm fucked. yuuuup. "i am sick of always trying but not trying hard enough" this providence couldn't of said it better. i'm scared of what's going to happen after i graduate high school. what do i do with my life? i don't even know what i want to be. every one's saying i have so much time to decide but in reality... i don't. i have to apply to colleges next year. how am i going to do that if i don't know what i want to do. i don't get it. i don't want to think about my life in 10-20 years. it honestly scares the shit out of me. ugh. i was studying before.. but i felt the need to come here and write. now i'm just procrastinating, oh welllllll. i think i should continue studying and doing my homework but just like always, i won't until 9 or 10. i don't know why but that always happens. okay goodbye (:

how perfect is this? it's basically what i wrote up there.